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Last week Blizzard released twitter accounts for Warcraft, Starcraft, and Diablo. These are officially sanctioned twitters and are about as interesting as living in Bland County. Honestly, battle cries? It’s been going on for a week now and I can’t help but imagine this twitter scenario playing out in real life. It would be like thousands upon thousands of nerds clashing in some great chasm of geekitude, screaming at each other so loudly that the gales (smelling pungently of mountain dew, cheetos, and pocky) push their targets back to the edge of infinity. Think of 300 without badasses or abs, no weapons, and no reason for living. Yeah, that’s my #battlecry.

But it’s not all bad. In fact its linking a lot of Blizzard fans together and helping to network, especially for relatively new community sites like our own. Also, it got me thinking: What would twitter look like if our favorite heroes and baddies had accounts?

FTHorde Garrosh took MY beemer out on a joy ride last night and now there’s stains on the back seat. I hate that guy.

FTHorde I was broodin in my throne room today when I thought about the old Night Rider theme song… what were the lyrics? Looking it up on my iPhone later.

HakkarRI Ugh, just woke up. I feel like ass.

FTHorde Beer Basted Boar Ribs again today. They’re good… but three times in a week?

Varian_WINN @FTHorde stop complaining pussay. I wouldn’t know tho, since im a VAGitarian! LOL #hordesux

The1DarkLady Me and some of the boys just found a bitchin new poison. Shit’s boss.

BlueRaisen @The1DarkLady OK ur new poysen thing is getting old. 4 real power talk wif da elemnts n stuff. I no a guy if ur intrestd

FTHorde @Varian_WINN eat a beer basted cock you asshat

AlbertJMimiron LOOK @ MY PROFILE FOR SEXY PICS

Dungeon_for_my_soul Hi twitterfolk. I had an absolutely horrible dream last night, anyone want to know what it was?

BlueRaisen @Dungeon_for_my_soul no.

FTHorde @Dungeon_for_my_soul NO

BABYLJP @Dungeon_for_my_soul is it about how you killed your dad?

Dungeon_for_my_soul @BABYLJP …maybe

BABYLJP @Dungeon_for_my_soul then no.

The1DarkLady @BlueRaisen what was that? You seem to be missing vowels… and consonants… you know what? Nevermind I shouldn’t have said anything

Theprophet4real Dingey in the castle today. Think I’ll get my minions to clean up the place.

Varian_WINN @Theprophet4real haven’t u died like 3 times now… like ‘4real’? jesus, stay dead.

BlueRaisen @The1DarkLady obvisly the scop of my typin r beyond ur pewny intllct

Dungeon_for_my_soul @Theprophet4real hello compatriot, did you get the package I sent you? It was the one filled with mangled organs and children’s tears.

Varian_WINN enough of this, im gonna go bang some hoez. @BABYLPJ you game? Hit me up on my celly if ur wantin to get busy on this

BlueRaisen HAH! I did it. Elmnts typ 4 muh nao. Cnt typ 4 muhslf cuz of teh arthritis n stff.

Dungeon_for_my_soul @Varian_WINN @FTHorde @BlueRaisen @The1DarkLady Do you all really not see why I want to destroy you all? Have you even READ what you posted?

BABYLPJ zomg look at teh cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute ducks!!!!! http://tinyurl.com/5p6afl

It just kind of goes on like this ad infinitum. Turns out that Azeroth twitter isn’t any better than regular, Earth twitter. Oh well.

-Kenny D