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Activision, my friends, has many arms.  Many, many, many arms.  As many arms as that Hindu goddess my wife has a picture of  over the sink in the kitchen.  Her name is Devi, the goddess, that is.  Some of those arms of Activision are responsible for stuff like this.  What most of us do not know is that Activision has a secret arm.  An arm that is designed for the sole purpose of scrying and divination.  They employ that Professor Trelawney who reads the freaky tea leaves and goes nuts when she touches Harry Potter.  That arm made some wicked awesome predictions today and I wanted to share with you some thoughts on how I feel about this.

Just working from memory here but the guy who runs Nintendo thinks that soccer moms and stay-at-home moms, are the future of gaming.  Activision is putting their chips in that pot, just in case.  Just in case of what?  Well, think about the casual gamer.  The casual WOW gamer.  I guess Activision, according to Professor Trelawney, is prepping for the day that all those ladies Nintendo talks about (COUGARS) who play WOW with all the young men (DOE-EYED DEER)  in the world will one day jump ship because CrappyApps just released the most awesome version of Spider Solitaire ever.   I mean, I play it non-stop.  Serious.  I am playing right now.  I’m back.   And somehow of the 11 bajillion subscribers WOW has, these COUGARS make up the key demographic of the WOW casual gamer?  Interesting, Activision.  I like it.  I like it a lot.  I think that it makes as much sense as a level 80 getting ganked by Goldtooth. They’re about to release that whole Cataclysm thing, Vivendi, who owns Activision, still controls all of the water in France, and with Blizzard, the minds and hearts of all those kids that got beat up in High School.  Just like me.  So, I ask, why try and pop the bubble now?  Why speak of a day that people who play WOW will hyperventilate over, cry over, shoot each other with Nerf guns in offices in mock Suicide Pacts?  Why?

Because they thought I wouldn’t find out.  That’s right.  they were trying to hide it all from me.  I would be that last guy who had no clue until it was too late.  You would all be over in the WOW2 or Pride & Prejudice:MMORPG, having a ball as you tried to get Mr. Darcy to love you and I would be all alone in Stormwind, walking around, wondering why Trade chat was silent.  As part of the endgame events, like the Matrix Online,  Blizzard would destroy the world by having Ragnaros walk the world, smiting all he sees, laying waste to the cities of man and goblin alike.  The gnomes, he’d leave alone, but everyone else?  Dead.  I would run into the Trade District, heading to check my mailbox, I would see him through the haze of that fountain, Ragnaros his head on fire, looking back.  Flame-retardant tears coursing down his cheeks, as he looked up at me, Mochachino, fat little red-headed female dwarf paladin, and he’d say, in Trade Chat….

2.[Trade]: Ragnaros: I have been alone so long, and no one comes to play with me anymore.  No one has played with me in so long.  I used to be a big deal around here.  Not since they started that Burning Crusade.

2.[Trade]: Mochachino:  I got a Burning Crusade in my pants.

It’s Trade chat.  One step above Barrens chat.  You should’ve expected even less.  And a Chuck Norris joke.

Look, guys and gals, WOW is in-depth, and will be around as long as you are willing to shell out them bills that Blizzard is looking for.  If you can find the same level of interaction, depth, lore, and just plain awesomeness ( I still remember the first time I walked into IF and my jaw dropped a little at the statue in the main hall) from running that farm on your Facebook page, by all means, have fun.  But leave me my Mechanical Lifelike Squirrels.  If you have Cougars running raids with you on Friday nights, those ladies are there for far more than just the latest clothie spirit drop.  They definitely want something to drop.  And it will be cloth.  From your loins.  That ain’t no raid I want a part of.